What do YOU want?

We go through various transitions (big and small) in our life time. For me a big transitional year took place for me at the end of 2016 beginning of 2017. I quit my sensible job. I broke up with a man I said yes to marrying. I left London (my home for 7 years). I felt totally lost and broken. I asked myself what I wanted in that particular moment and the answer was to spend time alone and away from the real world. So I took myself travelling around the UK with my tent and some belongings. I wanted to reconnect with myself and allow myself time to heal.  

How many times do you ask yourself the question “what do I want?”. Often we are too busy or too distracted by this world that we live in and we forget to truly stop still and enquire deep within. 

And perhaps if we were to ask ourselves what it is we want – we might not actually know the answer. 

For me, it was only until I took myself walking, camping and adventuring around the UK that I was truly able to find out what I wanted. The noise quietened and I could finally hear myself think. I could suddenly visualise with crystal clear vision my desires in life and what was important to me. 

Taking time for yourself to find out what you want is so important. By doing this you are telling yourself AND the universe exactly what it is that will bring you happiness/freedom/stability or whatever it is you are after. 

But if you do not know the answer, how can you be sure that your are living to your fullest potential?

Sometimes it can be scary to answer ourselves honestly as the truth in answering becomes something you then have to take responsibility for and action.

My encouragement to you would be to feel the fear and do it anyway.

I’ve put together a mindful exercise to help you get to the foundations of what you want from any particular situation.

Time to find out

Take a moment to find a quiet space and a comfortable seat. You’ll need a pen and piece of paper for this exercise. I would advise that you switch your mobile phone to aeroplane mode too.

Now before you begin the writing exercise just take 2 minutes to be completely silent and still. Use your phone’s alarm to alert you to 2 minutes, if you need to.

During this 2 minutes of silence let thoughts come and go and try not to drift off with any one particular thought. If you do find yourself drifting just imagine that each thought is a cloud and that each cloud is moving by one by one and then evaporating into the air. Concentrate on your breath and just enjoy this 2 minutes of peace and stillness.

When you arrive back come to your piece of paper and go through the following questions to help you gain clarity of what it is you exactly want from a current situation you are finding challenging.

  1. Write down clearly the exact challenge you are facing at the moment.
  2. Write down in bullet points all the reason this particular challenge is causing you to feel stuck, empty or unclear about what it is you want.
  3. Read those bullet points out loud and observe how you feel when you do so.
  4. Use a word to describe that feeling.
  5. Focus on the challenge and write down how you visualise an ideal resolution.
  6. Write down in bullet points all the actions you need to take to get to that resolution.
  7. Read those bullet points out loud and observe how you feel when you do so.
  8. Use a word to describe that feeling.
  9. Clear your mind. Take 2 minutes to come back to silence and stillness.
  10. Come back to the original challenge. Out loud ask yourself “What do I want”. Be precise and detailed in answering this question. Don’t hold back. Be as descriptive as possible in your answer this question so that you create as much clarity for yourself as possible.
  11. Now…what are you waiting for?

It’s common for us as humans to do what other people want or to do things that we think other people want us to do. In situations of overwhelm or worry – come back to the questions “What do I want?”. Ask yourself out loud and don’t hold back when answering. We often quieten down our true desires for many decisions we make. Put yourself first and ask yourself what it is you truly want. You have had the answers all along!

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